Rock the Casbah
by raisingme
Summary: Callie is stationed in Iraq as a surgeon. Arizona lost her leg months earlier, and her roommate and friend Teddy, in an attempt to help her come out of her shell, convinces her to become pen pals with Callie. Same generic storyline as GA through season 8, but obviously minus Callie. Rated T at the moment, but that might change at some point.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first fan fic I've written…ever. The story is based off of a conversation I had with a friend. All mistakes are mine, and I own nothing.**

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**Chapter 1**

"Arizona, this just isn't going to work anymore."

Teddy leaned against the doorframe of Arizona's room, staring at her back. Arizona was curled up in the fetal position in her bed, with her back to Teddy. She didn't move, and to anyone else, it would appear that she was asleep. Teddy knew better though.

"You need to do something different" Teddy said as she slowly took a few steps into her room.

Silence.

"This isn't healthy, Arizona."

Silence.

"I want to help you; please let me."

Arizona took in a deep breath, holding it for a moment before slowly letting it out.

"Arizona," Teddy began.

"Just stop. Please." There was no malice in Arizona's voice. Her tone was flat and calm. She had heard everything that Teddy was saying now thousands of times before. It wasn't just Teddy who told her these things, but her own conscious. But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, her own resolve began to break. Her own mind turned on her. She began to slowly give up on herself. She began to slowly give up on the possibility of ever returning to any normalcy in her life. She would never be the Arizona that she was before the accident. It wasn't even about losing her leg anymore; rather, she had lost her self, and she was becoming more and more certain that she would never find herself ever again.

"Look, I'm your friend, and I love you, and you're going to hear me out on this and not interrupt me." Teddy's voice suddenly snapped Arizona back to the present.

"Okay," came the meek reply from Arizona.

"I know that right now even the thought of leaving the apartment is too much for you. I get that, I really do. But I also know the longer you stay cooped up in here, the harder it will be. I mean, at some point you have to get out and live your life, and you need to start taking baby steps towards that."

Teddy started to feel flustered. This all sounded much better and made much more sense in her head.

Arizona shifted onto her back. She kept her eyes tightly closed, but tried her best to let Teddy's words wash over her, and actually sink in.

"So I still have a lot of Army buddies serving overseas, and it can be lonely there. I mean, they have each other, but it's still hard. Being so removed from home and what used to be your normal life is difficult. You know that, Arizona. You know that better than most people."

Teddy worried that she was starting to sound desperate. The truth was, she was. She was desperate to help her friend. Arizona hadn't been the same since the plane crash that took her leg. It wasn't the obvious lack of leg that Teddy was concerned about, but rather Arizona seemed to have become a shell of her former self. It was as if all the Arizona had been scooped out at some point.

Teddy continued to speak, but Arizona didn't hear her. It wasn't that she was trying to ignore her friend, but rather the opposite. She was stuck ruminating on things that Teddy had told her in the past. Teddy was right; she couldn't continue on like this. Something had to give. She couldn't keep slipping more and more into herself. It wasn't even herself that she was slipping into, was it? Internally, something fundamentally changed when that plane fell out of the sky. Yes, she lost her leg, but she was adjusting to that. It was as if Arizona lost the essence of who she was…of what made her Arizona and not someone else…and it was that that terrified her most.

"…so her name is Callie and she's a surgeon. She's stationed in Iraq and this is her second tour of duty over there."

Arizona snapped back to reality upon realizing that Teddy had continued talking. Arizona blinked her eyes a few times before propping herself up on her elbow to look at Teddy as she continued speaking.

"Anyway, she doesn't know anything about you. It's like a 'friend of a friend of a friend' type thing. She doesn't know that you're missing a leg, that you're a surgeon, or even that you're a doctor. And you don't have to tell her any of that stuff at first when you email her. Honestly, when I was there, a part of me lived for conversations with people back home about going to the grocery store." Teddy was concerned. She couldn't read Arizona, and kept squeezing and releasing her two hands.

Arizona stared at her friend intently. She obviously had missed much of what Teddy had said, but it seemed as if this Callie was supposed to be some sort of pen pal for Arizona. Or maybe it was Arizona who was supposed to be the pen pal for Callie? Arizona liked that idea much better. She liked the idea of it being about someone else. She liked helping other people; it's why she became a doctor. She wanted to help heal people. She felt useless in terms of trying to heal herself, but perhaps she could be an encouragement and a friend to this Callie.

Teddy shifted her weight uneasily as Arizona sat up in her bed, resting her back on the headboard. Teddy reached into her pocket as she took a few steps forward. She shoved her hand out towards Arizona, with a small piece of paper folded neatly in it.

"So, this is her email address," Teddy stated as she waited for Arizona to take the paper. She opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could, Arizona cut her off.

"Okay," she said as she took the paper from Teddy's slightly trembling hand, "I'll make sure to email her before I go to bed tonight."

Arizona smiled sweetly at her friend, who almost looked slightly panicked.

"Okay. Great!" Teddy replied as a wide grin emerged on her face. She took a step back and then turned around to leave Arizona's room. As she walked into their living room, she shut the door behind her, and audibly sighed. She continued towards her room with a smug grin of self-satisfaction on her face. Maybe this whole Army pen pal thing was exactly what Arizona needed to find herself again and come out of her shell. It would allow her to be social and interact with someone, but in a very safe environment for Arizona. It would be great for Callie as well. Teddy knew all too well what it was like to be a surgeon in wartime. Light and carefree conversations about the best type of pasta would be a welcome distraction for Callie. Teddy quietly chuckled to herself as she got ready to leave for work at the hospital. This had been a genius idea, and she was more than a little proud of herself.

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**This is the first time I've written something in a LOOONNNGGG time that I've actually shared with others. Let me know what you think, but please be gentle when ripping it/me to shreds! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for the encouraging reviews so far I haven't worked out all the details of the story yet (or exactly how I want to go about telling it), so if you have any thoughts, feel free to PM me your ideas. As always, all mistakes are mine, and I own nothing.**

**Chapter 2**

It had been a few hours since Teddy had left for her shift at the hospital. During that time Arizona had taken a shower, gotten dressed, and began going over cases that Alex had dropped off the previous night. The past month Arizona had taken on more of a consultant role in her department. She had been cleared for surgery for a while, and had gotten back to what was a 'normal' amount of surgeries for her per week. Yet in the past two months she found herself becoming more reclusive. She had no problems with any of the physical demands of surgery, but mentally she just wasn't there. It wasn't even the fact that surgery could, and often was, mentally taxing, but rather Arizona just wasn't Arizona anymore. She wasn't sure when it started or why it began, but it was now to the point where there was no way that she could deny it. So a month ago Arizona made up some excuse to the chief about why she needed to take time away from the OR for a while. She implied that it was related to issues that she was having with her leg, and the chief immediately told her to take as long as she needed to get things sorted out. Dr. Hunt carried a lot of guilt regarding the crash and what happened to Arizona, as he was technically the one who put her on the plane. Arizona harbored no ill will towards the man, but she also had no desire to try to explain to him what was going on inside her head…_**she**_ didn't even understand what was happening to her mind…to herself. So she let him believe it was related to her leg as an easy out. She just needed to take some time to step back from everything and figure out exactly where she had retreated inside herself.

Arizona got up from the couch where she had been going over cases, and pulled out her phone to text Alex some questions. She was so grateful to have him there at the hospital. If she couldn't be there, Alex was the next best thing. He was an amazing surgeon, and truthfully, just as an amazing human being. Arizona had enjoyed mentoring Alex the past few years. As much as he liked to pretend that he didn't care and put forth this 'too cool for school' attitude, Arizona had gotten to know the real Alex, and he really was a good guy. After the plane crash, before she was able to get back on her feet (both literally and figuratively) Alex ran her department, and he did a damn good job of it. Every day Alex came into the hospital his first stop was Arizona's room, and before leaving at the end of each shift he would stop by again to check on her. Alex would keep her updated on patients, but he did more than that. He became her friend and protector. Arizona never felt like the kind of person who needed protecting, but losing a leg certainly did put one in a vulnerable position.

**BZZZ**

Arizona glanced down at her phone to see that Alex had texted her back.

_ Dude, I can't play 20 questions right now. ONE of us has to actually be a surgeon, and you know, perform surgeries._

Arizona couldn't help but let a huge grin emerge across her face. Alex could be gruff at times, but

**BZZZ**

_ I'm off tomorrow tho. So make that chicken casserole thing and I'll come over and we can talk then. Deal?_

_ Deal. It'll be ready by 7pm. Thanks! :) :) :)_

_ Whatever._

Arizona quietly chuckled to herself as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. Plopping herself down on the couch, she rhythmically drummed her fingertips on the tops of her thighs, trying to figure out what she was going to do for the rest of the day.

"Callie," she murmured quietly to herself. She had told Teddy that she would email her before going to bed tonight. No reason that she couldn't go ahead and knock that out now. Arizona pulled out her phone to order a pizza for dinner. She went around the house tidying things up while she waited for her food to arrive. Once the apartment looked like two adults lived there, as opposed to two small children, she poured herself a glass of wine before sitting down at the small desk in the corner of the living room. She opened her laptop and stared at the screen for a few moments. She opened her email and pulled out the piece of paper in her pocket with Callie's email address on it.

"Oh shit."

Arizona groaned audibly.

"This is so not going to work."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Arizona was momentarily startled, until she remembered that she _**had**_ ordered a pizza.

"Coming!" she quickly called as she closed her laptop. She got up and walked to the door. Opening it she smiled and handed the deliveryman two $20 dollar bills, took her two pizzas, and quickly made her way back to the couch.

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It had been two hours since her pizza had arrived. It was getting late. Arizona would need to go to bed soon. That meant that she could no longer put if off; she _**had**_ to email Callie now.

She pushed herself off the couch and walked back over to the desk. She sat down in the small chair and opened her laptop again.

"Okay," she said out loud. "Well, obviously I need to come up with a new email address. She's a surgeon and I'm a surgeon. And I'm a well-known surgeon. Who runs her own department. With a WEIRD name. No way I'm going to let her know that Arizona Robbins is emailing her. The Arizona Robbins who only has one leg because she was in a horrific plane crash that made the national news."

Arizona did her best thinking out loud, and even at work would often be found mumbling to herself about a case. Alone at home though, she would carry on a conversation with herself just like she would with anyone else.

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The next hour flew by quickly. Arizona figured out a new email address and had written Callie a lengthy, but not overly personal email. A smug sense of satisfaction enveloped Arizona as she hit 'send' before closing her laptop to make her way to bed for the night.

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**I'm quite unhappy with this chapter. It's just bad. It's been about 85% done for 5 days now. I just couldn't get it the way that I wanted it. It's all stuff that I felt like needed to be told, but something about it just seems 'blah' or like it doesn't fit with HOW I want to tell this story. So sorry to anyone else who feels like this chapter sucks :/ The good news though, is that this chapter is so bad, it can only go up from here, right?**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: After rereading chapter 2, I actually kinda like it :) I'm not so sure about this chapter though :/ I hope that you all enjoy it though. I also want to say that I've really appreciated the encouraging/positive feedback that I've gotten :)**

**I'm also REALLY sorry that it took forever and ten years for this most recent update. Wedding planning/prep (for my little sister's) was WAAAYYY more time consuming than I had realized.**

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**Chapter 3**

Subject: Army pen pals

From: batcave502

To: Callie

Callie,

Hi! :) So Teddy gave me your email address for the whole 'Army pen pals' thing that she's doing. Well, actually I'm not sure if it's something that SHE is doing, or just something that she heard about. Either way, I'm your pen pal! :)

The only advice that Teddy gave me about what to write about was that when she was stationed overseas she really enjoyed hearing about mundane everyday things that her friends and family got up to, like going to the grocery store. So let me tell you about my latest grocery shopping adventure :)

First, do you like pickles? Because I do, or at least I thought I did. Last week I decided that what was missing from my life was a good burger. Now, I'm not much of a cook…at all. But one thing I can do well is make a good burger. I don't know about you, but I think that pickles are a MUST for any good burger. So I leave my apartment to go to the local grocery store around the corner. Keep in mind, this isn't some fancy schmancy chain store…it's a small family run store…surely they can't have TOO many pickle options, right?

WRONG!

Holy moly! The pickle options out there are overwhelming! First, how are some pickles kosher and some not? I didn't even thinking keeping kosher had anything to do with pickles. Or are all pickles actually kosher, but they just go out of their way to market some pickles as kosher? I always figured my pickle options were either dill or sweet. But at the store, I counted 13 different varieties…THIRTEEN! How is that even possible?! And from the empty spaces on the shelf I can only assume that there are at least a few more pickle varieties that are normally there. I certainly don't remember there being this many pickle options when I was a kid.

So there I was, standing in the aisle, with no idea which was the best kind of pickle for a burger. And even worse, I had left my phone, so I couldn't call my mom to ask her! It was definitely a crisis. I ended up not buying any and instead completely changed my dinner plans. Anyway, my goal is to do some pickle research this week to figure out what the best plan of action is.

I hope you're doing well, and I look forward to hearing back from you :)

~A

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"So this pen pal thing is basically the greatest thing ever!" gushed George. "My pen pal is this college student who works at GameStop, and he talked to his manager, and they're going to send us some of their used merchandise. So we're going to get a couple more Wiis and XBOX 360s and a ton of games and extra controllers. Isn't that awesome?!"

George excitedly bounced in his chair at the table. He thrust his hand up in the air looking for someone to give him a high give.

"Sweet. I might come out here more often to help you guys now," replied Mark as he high-fived George. "I'm sure that Torres will be stoked about this." Mark turned his head and noticed that Callie was sitting by herself today.

"What's up with her?" Yang asked as she sat down beside Mark and grabbed a fry off his plate.

"Hey! That was mine!"

Yang just shrugged her shoulders as she grabbed another fry and motioned towards Callie with it.

Callie normally sat with them during meals, and was the 'life of the party' as it was, but not today. Today she picked at her salad and spent much of her time staring off into space.

"She's just mad because she got a dud."

Both Mark and Cristina turned to face George, with blank expressions on their faces.

"Her pen pal; he's a dud. He just talked about pickles," George replied.

"Pickles," responded Mark, a look of concentration on his face, "is that some sort sexual innuendo that I'm not familiar with?" he asked as he leaned across the table towards George.

"Oh yeah!" Yang chimed in. "Does he want to do nasty things to her with his pickle?!" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively waiting for George to respond.

"No. It was literally all about him trying to buy pickles at the grocery store. Or her…actually we're not sure which."

"Wait. What?" responded Cristina as she leaned across the table, mimicking Mark.

"Torres doesn't know if the person who emailed her is a guy or a girl?" Mark had a very confused look on his face at this point, and slowly turned to face his best friend, who it appeared hadn't had more than two bites of her salad since sitting down.

"Leslie. That's it." Yang broke the silence as she spoke, and then smugly sat back in her seat with her arms crossed.

"Huh?" Mark's confused look quickly returned.

"Her pen pal must be named Leslie or something else that could either be a guy or a girl…right, George?"

"Actually, Callie doesn't even know his, or her, name. They just signed the email 'A'…like the letter. And the actual email address is 'batcave502' which doesn't really help either."

Cristina and Mark simultaneously sighed and turned to face Callie again. At this point she looked up to find the two of them staring at her. Callie rolled her eyes and got up from the table. She threw away the remainder of her lunch before leaving the cafeteria.

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"Hey there, Torres."

Mark slowly walked into the makeshift on-call room at the hospital. He had spent most of the day worried about Callie. The look on her face as she got up and left the cafeteria at lunch told him that something was going on with his best friend, and the fact that she had not only not sat with them at lunch, but was nowhere to be found at dinner solidified the notion in his mind that whatever was wrong was something serious. He hated to see Callie hurting. Mark exuded 'college frat guy,' but Callie was able to see the real Mark beneath that. Even when he didn't believe in himself, Callie did. She saw him as this great guy, and not just some manwhore.

"Hey," Callie meekly responded.

She lay on her back on one of the cots in the small room, her arm draped over her eyes and face.

Mark took a few steps into the room, and sat down on the edge of the other cot, leaning over with his elbows on his knees, resting his chin in his palms. He spent what felt like an eternity trying to figure out what exactly what to say next. He made his decision, and took a deep breath before blurting out…

"So pickles, huh?"

He could hear Callie audibly groan.

_Perhaps that wasn't the best route to go_, he thought to himself. He quickly came up with a plan B.

"It's ju"

"Mark." Callie cut him off before he could continue. "Please. Not right now."

He could hear the pain in her voice. She was resolute, but definitely hurting.

Mark stood up and walked slowly across the room before sitting down on the edge of the cot that Callie was on.

"I love you, Cal. And you can talk to me about anything," he said while gentle patting her leg.

"Mark…"

Callie's voice was now strained. As she removed her arm from her face to look at him, Mark could see that it was covered in dried tears. It looked as if she had been crying for hours.

"Hey, what happened?" Mark asked as he leaned over to brush some hair out of her face, the concern evident on his face.

Callie knew that Mark loved her, and she knew that she could talk to him about anything. He had been her best friend for years now. They had first met while she was a resident at Walter Reed, and he had come to the hospital to do some bro bono work for military personnel who had been injured during the war. Mark was nothing like the other military personnel and civilians that Callie worked with at Walter Reed. She joined the Army right out of medical school and had been surrounded by the military culture for the previous three years. Then suddenly Mark Sloan arrived in her life, the antithesis of military culture. Almost everyone above her in the chain of command couldn't stand Mark, but when a world-renowned plastic surgeon volunteers his time and surgical services to help those hurt during war, you don't say no, regardless of how much you can't stand the guy. Callie had found him to be a breath of fresh air though. Mark was out there. With him, what you saw was what you got, and Callie liked that. He had no hidden agenda that Callie needed to try to figure out. And in this moment, it was reassuring to Callie to know that Mark still didn't have a hidden agenda, and that he genuinely wanted to know what was wrong so that he could try to help in any way possible.

Callie took a few deep breaths in an attempt to steady herself before she spoke again.

"You know how my dad didn't take it well when I told him about Erica?"

Mark gently nodded his head as he listened intently.

"Well, when he found out that we broke up, I think that he thought it was over. Not the relationship…I mean, obviously once we broke up the relationship was over. But I think that once Erica and I weren't together my dad thought that was the end of me dating women. He thought it was some phase or some fling or something."

The tears began to well up in Callie's eyes once again. She took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly in hopes of calming herself down. She had no desire to spend even more of this day crying. Mark gently squeezed her hand and nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"So things have been better between us, and I thought that he was coming around. Like, I thought that he had begun to accept me…"

Callie trailed off as tear streamed down her cheek.

"…but it turns out that he simply thought that I had 'come to my senses' or some bullshit. Anyway, we Skyped the last night and it didn't go well. At all. It was basically horrible."

The tears were now freely flowing. Mark gently reached over with his left hand to cup Callie's face and wipe away the tears on her cheek with his thumb. Callie placed her hand on top of Mark's and gave him a small smile. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"So I check my email this morning, and I see that I have two new messages…one from pickle man," Callie couldn't help but laugh, and Mark broke out into his trademark smile…he was glad to see the sparkle return to his friend's eyes…but it quickly faded as she continued.

"…and the other one was from my father."

Suddenly all the color drained from Callie's face. Mark's heart broke for his best friend.

"And?" he asked.

"Well…" Callie's voice began to crack, "he basically he tried to 'pray away the gay.' He emailed me all these verses about how I'm an abomination and I'll spend eternity in hell. He told me that I need to repent and come back to God, and if I don't, that's it. He's going to cut me off financially and act like I never existed."

"Oh, Cal…I'm so sorry."

"So yeah…now I have to decide what to do. I mean, I could just lie to him. I'm halfway around the world right now…he'd never know. And even when I get back it's not like we'll be living in the same city."

Mark stared intently at Callie. This didn't sound like the person that he knew. She wasn't someone to hide who she was.

"But?"

Callie audibly sighed.

"I can't lie. Even if they think I'm wrong…even if they don't understand…even if they think I'm crazy. I'm me. They're supposed to accept me. They're supposed to support me. They're supposed to love me, you know? I can't lie."

Mark smiled at his best friend and gently squeezed her hand as he nodded in agreement.

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**Thoughts? Comments? Additions? Subtractions?**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Sorry that this took so long. I had a terrible, no good, very bad day that turned into a terrible, no good, very bad week, which then turned into two :/ I'm going to seriously try to update at least once a week from now on though…wish me luck! :)**

**Also, for this story to work it's set in a parallel universe where the US still has a military presence in Iraq in 2014 and "Don't ask, don't tell" was never a thing/only lasted a very short time (haven't decided exactly how I want to deal with that yet).**

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**Chapter 4**

Arizona had just pulled the casserole dish out of the oven when she heard a knock at the door.

"Come in!" she called over her shoulder as she moved into the dining room to place the dish on the table. As she turned around to walk back into the kitchen she saw Alex struggling to make it through the front door as he attempted to juggle various stacks of paper.

"Here, let me help you."

"I've got it, Robbins," he grumbled.

"You know that I still have two good arms, right?" she said to him, with a smirk crossing her face.

"Good point" he mumbled as he thrust his arms out, allowing Arizona to take some of the papers.

The next two hours were spent eating, drinking beer, and going over the case files and research that Alex had brought over. Arizona was reminded of how thankful she was that she had Alex at the hospital. She had poured so much into him…she didn't just mentor him from a surgical standpoint, simply passing on her surgical knowledge and skills, but she had poured herself into him. Assuming someone possessed the proper dexterity, Arizona was confident that she could teach anyone the proper surgical techniques to use with pediatric patients. What she couldn't teach just anyone was the essence of being a pediatric surgeon. It was so much more than operating on tiny humans. It was about dealing with the terrified parents. It was about connecting and calming the children who didn't know what was going on. It was about advocating for the tiny humans who couldn't speak for themselves. Being a great pediatric surgeon was as much about who you were as a person as your surgical technique.

And Alex, as a human being, was exactly what you wanted in a good pediatric surgeon. Arizona saw it immediately when she first met him. She spent the following years pouring into him, helping him realize and see that he had what it took to make a great healer of tiny humans. Alex already had everything that he needed to be an amazing pediatric surgeon, but he still needed someone to show him that, and that's where Arizona came in. She saw so much of herself in Alex. Arizona hid parts of herself under her perky exterior, while Alex did the same with his tough guy persona. They had both experienced pain and heartache, and they both kept it mostly to themselves, not wanting others to feel sorry for them. Alex slept his way through most of the nurses and interns, just like Arizona had. In a lot of ways, Arizona came to view Alex as the male version of her.

Now, years later, the two fell into a very comfortable rhythm inside and outside the OR. During surgery it was almost as if they could read each other's minds, which definitely came in handy during difficult surgeries or when a complication seemed to come out of nowhere. Outside the OR, Arizona noticed that Alex seemed to have a 6th sense about her. He might not always know _what_ was wrong with her, but he almost always knew when _something_ was up.

"Ugh, I think I'm gonna burst."

"That's what happens when you don't stop at seconds, and insists on having thirds," replied Arizona as she playfully shoved his shoulder.

"Dude…it's your fault."

"My fault?!" she cried out.

"Yeah…if your food wasn't so good, I wouldn't want seconds, let alone thirds. So obviously it's your fault," Alex responded with a genuine smile on his face, leaning back in his chair, fingers interlocked behind his head.

Arizona shook her head and rolled her eyes as she got up from the table, taking each of their plates to the kitchen sink. Alex got up to follow her, delicately balancing the casserole dish in one hand three empty beer bottles in the other.

"Arizona, I wanted to talk to you about something."

_Shit._

Alex never called Arizona by her first name unless it was something serious and sentimental that he wanted to talk about. She kept her back to him as she started to rinse off the dishes at the sink.

"Hmmm?"

_Play it cool, Robbins._

"Emily was a dick." He blurted it out so quickly that it took Arizona a moment to realize what he even said.

"And I know, I know, _it's complicated_." Alex used air quotes and an almost sing-song voice to make his point.

"Karev," she quietly replied as she turned to face him, arms across her chest with the small of her back resting against the lip of the counter.

"Let me finish, okay? Emily was a dick. I'm sure that it was or is more complicated than I know, but she was still a dick. The way that she ended things, and just up and left like that…that's…that's not okay, Robbins."

_Oh thank God he's gone back to my last name._

"And Arizona,"

_Fuck._

"Yeah?"

Arizona seemed smaller. She certainly felt smaller. She was now slouching against the counter, head hung low with her hands shoved in her jeans' front pockets. She couldn't bare to look at Alex right now, and more than anything she just wished that she could disappear.

"You deserve better. You deserved better."

Arizona looked up at Alex, and saw nothing but genuine love and concern in his eyes.

"And I'll be the first one to admit that you were a major dick too, bu-"

"What?!" Arizona cut him off before he could finish, unable to control her laughter. He simply rolled his eyes and gave a quick shake of his head before continuing.

"Yes, you were a dick too, but you had been in a fucking plane crash…and then spent almost a week alone in a fucking forest somewhere in Idaho, with Kepner. April Kepner! That's enough to make anyone go crazy!"

Arizona bit her bottom lip in an attempt to stop herself from laughing. It wasn't exactly working as her body continued to shake.

"And even when we finally get you back to Seattle…it's…it's too little too late. And then they have to amputate your leg."

Alex had gotten quieter as he continued to speak, and was now staring at a spot on the floor.

"You had trauma after trauma after trauma…in the span of a week. You get to be a dick. You're expected to be a dick. It would have concerned all of us if you _weren't_ a dick."

Alex lifted his head to look Arizona in the eye. His brow was furrowed and he was chewing on his bottom lip. Arizona wasn't quite sure if he was concentrating on what to say next or if he was simply overcome with emotion. She stared at his face and realized that she honestly could not remember him ever looking like this before. She smiled weakly at him and reached out to take his hand.

"Alex."

_Shit. Don't go getting all sentimental like him. One of you needs to keep your shit together._

He pulled away before she could grab his hand, taking a deep breath to steady himself before continuing.

"So yeah, you were a dick, but you had a legit reason to be a dick. And then you stopped. You did everything right. You went to that PTSD support group that Hunt told you about…every goddamn week you went. And you saw that trauma counselor every week. And, and you found that amputee support group. And Jesus…you fucking 'found Jesus' or whatever."

Alex was becoming more animated, using his hands as he talked.

"And she did you wrong, Robbins. Emily fucked you over, and she had no right. I get that she was scared shitless while you were missing…we all were."

Arizona studied Alex's face. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought tears were welling up in his eyes. He took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling for a moment before continuing.

"_I_ was scared shitless."

Arizona reached for Alex's hand again, and this time he let her take it. He stared at the ground and bit his lip for a few moments before continuing.

"I had a really fucked up childhood, you know? No one cared about me. No one looked out for me. No one believed in me. I went to college on a wrestling scholarship…and everyone just thought I was some stupid jock. And I get into medical school, and it's like everyone thinks it's some sort of fluke. And I start to think it's some sort of fluke."

At this point Alex looked like a scared and defeated little boy. Arizona knew about his past, but he had never opened up to her like this before. She wasn't quite sure what had brought it on. Usually it was her picking away at his layers to figure out what was going on.

"You believed in me. You believe in me, Arizona. You showed me that I'm an awesome surgeon."

Arizona giggled at his word choice.

"Awesome, huh?"

"Yeah, and you've also added to my vocabulary," he replied with a smirk. Alex took his hand back and scratched the back of his head, taking a moment to compose himself before finishing.

"Anyway, you've been like this big sister to me. You're more than just a surgical mentor to me, you know?" He was much less emotional now, but still very determined in what he was saying. "And then this horrible thing happened, and you, the great Arizona Robbins, needed someone to look out for her."

Arizona chuckled as she playfully shoved Alex. He momentarily smiled at her, before plastering a very determined and resolute look on his face.

"So I did everything that I could to help you. I ran your service. Every day you were in the hospital your room was my first and last stop of the day. I double and triple checked all your charts to make sure that you were getting the best care. But the one thing that I couldn't control…the one thing that I couldn't help was Emily. And I hated it. I hated it, Arizona. She had no right to just walk out on you like that. You don't just give up on someone…you don't just leave someone because it gets difficult."

It started to click in Arizona's mind why this was such a big deal to Alex. Over the years they had grown closer, and had an almost brother-sister relationship. They were certainly closer than any other mentor-mentee relationship she had ever had. She had come to deeply care for and about him, and was confident that he felt the same way about her. And from Alex's vantage point, Arizona's girlfriend Emily had simply left her when the shit hit the fan and things became too difficult. Which is exactly what virtually every person in Alex's life had done with him, especially when he was growing up. From Alex's vantage point, he was witnessing Arizona get treated exactly like he had been treated time and time and time again. He was reliving his traumatic childhood as adult, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it…and that fact had completely broken him. He couldn't save himself, and he couldn't save Arizona either, even as an adult.

_Shit._

"Come here." Arizona stepped forward and got on her tippy toes so that she could wrap her arms around Alex's neck and pull him into an embrace. He didn't hug her back, but he didn't move away from her touch either. He was trying to be brave and stoic, she was sure of it. She started to let go, and gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek before stepping back to once again face him.

"Alex, I want to tell you something about Emily. I want to explain the whole _it's complicated_ thing to you, but before I do, you have to promise me two things, okay?"

"Okay."

"First, you have to stay here tonight."

Alex's face scrunched up at this request. He was confused. He wasn't sure why he needed to stay at her place.

"Well?"

"Yeah, okay. I'll stay here tonight."

"Good. And second, you can't tell anyone what I tell you. And I mean _anyone_. No one knows about this, not even Teddy."

Alex did his best to hide his surprise at the revelation. Yes, the two had become close over the years, and certainly closer since the plane crash, but Teddy was Arizona's best friend. Teddy knew _everything_ about Arizona. If it was worth knowing, then Teddy knew it. At least that's what Alex thought.

"Deal?" Arizona thrust her hand out, waiting for Alex to take it so that they could shake on it.

"Deal," he said, a small smile creeping on his face as he shook her hand.

* * *

_11:12pm. Fuck._

Teddy groaned as she exited the elevator. She had been at the hospital since 5am, and was only now walking to her apartment door. A semi-truck overturning on the interstate had meant that she had stayed far longer at the hospital than she had intended for that day. To make matters worse, she had to be back at the hospital at 7am the next day. When she got to the door of the apartment she shared with Arizona, she fumbled through her purse for her keys.

_Shit. Where are they?_

She kept digging around, but still no keys.

_Damnnit. I must have left them at the hospital._

Teddy noticed that there was light coming out from beneath the door, meaning that Arizona was still awake. She was glad, as she didn't want to wake her roommate, and she certainly didn't want to trek back to the hospital to get her keys. Today had been a long and exhausting day, and she had zero desire to make it last any longer.

She quickly rapped on the door.

"Arizona? It's me, Teddy. I left my keys at the hospital. Can you open up the door for me?"

No response. She waited a few moments before trying again. This time she knocked a little more forcefully.

"Arizona! It's Teddy. I lost my keys. Can you let me in, please!?"

This time Teddy could hear movement in the apartment.

_Thank god. I'm exhausted._

"Hey Dr. Altman. Robbins is taking a shower and getting ready for bed."

The last thing that Teddy was expecting was to be greeted by Alex Karev in her doorway. She knew that he was supposed to come over tonight to go over some cases with Arizona, but he should have been gone by now. He should have been gone an hour ago, truthfully. Well, she did remember once or twice him staying late while the two of them drank beer and watched bad TV. If she was honest, what surprised Teddy wasn't so much that Alex Karev was greeting her in the doorway to her apartment, but what he was wearing. Or more accurately, what he wasn't wearing.

"Hi," she drew it out, and scrunched up her face at the scene before her.

"Oh, sorry," Alex responded, holding the door open for Teddy while stepping back so that she could easily step into the apartment.

Alex closed the door behind Teddy, and the two of them stood then stood a few feet apart, staring at each other. Teddy looked Alex up and down, confused by his outfit. Alex followed her eyes, and glanced down at his wardrobe as well.

"Oh, yeah…this," he said, motioning the length of his body as he spoke, "well, see I didn't have any pajamas with me. Obviously. I mean, who takes pajamas with them when they go over to someone's place for dinner, right?" He let out an awkward chuckle as he finished.

"Okay," replied Teddy, as she watched Alex appear to become uncomfortable under her gaze. If she didn't know any better, she would have sworn that he was starting to blush. She still wasn't sure why the peds fellow was standing in her kitchen in his underwear.

"So, care to explain to me exactly why you're standing in my kitchen in a black wife beater and dark gray boxer briefs," she paused, once again eyeing him up and down, "that leave _very little_ to the imagination, I might add?"

_Yep, he's definitely blushing now._

"Dude, don't make this weird." Alex shifted uncomfortably, tugging his A shirt down in an attempt to better cover himself. It didn't work; at all.

"How am I making it weird? You're the one half-naked in my kitchen."

"Hey, Karev, I go-"

Arizona looked up and suddenly stopped at the sight in front of her. She could no longer even remember what she had come out to tell Alex, at the sight of him looking like an underwear model standing next to her best friend, who appeared to be giving Arizona her best "mom glare."

_Oh shit._

"Oh, hey Teddy. I didn't expect to see you tonight. I thought that you were staying at Henry's tonight?" Arizona flashed her trademark grin with dimples popping. She was pulling out all the stops.

"Yeah, I was supposed to, but there was an accident and I got pulled into the OR. I actually just left the hospital about 20 minutes ago, and I was so exhausted I just wanted to come home and crawl into bed and go to sleep."

Alex's eyes nervously darted between the two women.

"I actually left my keys at the hospital, but Dr. Karev here was nice enough to let me in."

Arizona couldn't read Teddy's face, but it felt as if her eyes were going to bore a hole into Arizona's body.

"Great! Well, I'm glad he let you in. Please, don't let us keep you. You're exhausted; you should go to bed."

"Arizona, why is there a half-naked Alex Karev in our apartment?"

"Um," Alex started to answer before being cut off by Teddy.

"Shut up, Karev!"

"Yes ma'am," he responded as he took a step back and hung his head.

"Teddy! Don't talk to him like that! He's a colleague."

"Yes, a HALF NAKED colleague in our apartment!"

"I'm drunk!" Alex blurted it out before he could even think. Both women were now staring at him.

"I'm drunk," he said again, this time much quieter.

"You're drunk?" Teddy asked, surprised.

"Yep. I'm drunk. I had _waaayyy_ too much to drink at dinner, and Robbins said I couldn't drive…so I'm spending the night here."

Teddy turned to face Arizona, not quite buying the story. Arizona momentarily panicked, not sure what to say. She shifted on her crutches, but before she could open her mouth to say anything Alex interrupted her.

"Look," he stepped forward and placed a hand on Teddy's shoulder, his other hand running through his short hair, "I just had a shit day, and Robbins was nice enough to listen to my sob story. I don't really share my feelings, so I needed more than my fair share of liquid courage. I mean, I would have taken a cab or something, but I drank so much that Robbins didn't want me to be alone tonight."

"He passed out earlier!"

Teddy and Alex just stared at Arizona. Teddy looked confused, and Alex looked pissed as hell.

"You passed out?" Teddy asked Alex, turning to face him again. He quickly changed the look on his face.

"Um…yeah, I guess. I don't really remember. I mean…I, I thought I just fell asleep, but like I said, I drank _a lot_ and Robbins was _really_ worried about me." He grit his teeth and was now glaring at Arizona.

"Yeah. Okay. Whatever…" Teddy gently shook her head as she began to walk towards her room. "I'm exhausted and I'm going to bed. Alex, make sure you've got a bucket to puke in…I'll be pissed if there's any vomit on that couch in the morning."

"Okay."

Teddy stopped as she reached the door to her room, hand stilled on the handle. She quickly called over her shoulder "And drink a lot of water before going to sleep," before entering her room and closing the door behind her.

"Oh shit!" Alex sort of loudly whispered, while trying not to laugh too loudly.

"Shut up!" hissed Arizona in response. Staring at him though, she quickly succumbed to her own giggling. Alex quickly doubled over with laughter, resting his hands on his thighs just about his knees. He took a few minutes to compose himself before speaking again.

"Wow, that was something, huh?" he chuckled. "Anyway, you got a blanket or something for me? I'll just use one of the pillows that you've already got on the couch, but like Altman said, I am kinda half-naked here." A sheepish grin came over his face, and Arizona could see Alex start to blush.

"Um, yeah…" Arizona quickly trailed off, shifting awkwardly on her crutches, quickly looking away from Alex.

"You okay, Robbins?"

Arizona mumbled something, but Alex couldn't make it out. Confused, he scrunched up his face before speaking again.

"Say again…I couldn't hear you."

Arizona's head dropped. If she weren't on her crutches her shoulders would have slumped forward as well. Suddenly she felt a swell of emotions inside of her. They flooded her and overwhelmed her; her head began to spin. Before she knew what was happening, Arizona felt a tightening in her chest.

"I uh," she would barely squeak it out.

"Dude, you okay? You don't look so hot."

"Um…" Arizona licked her lips. She noticed that her mouth felt unbelievably dry.

_How long has my mouth been this dry? This is like cottonmouth to the extreme._

"Here, take a drink."

Arizona looked up and saw that Alex was now standing in front of her, offering her a glass of water. She steadied herself on her crutches before reaching out for the glass. She took a few small, slow, and deliberate sips before handing the water back to Alex. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, finally meeting Alex's gaze.

"Would you stay with me, um, in my bed? At least until I fall asleep…please?"

Alex immediately replied, not giving Arizona the chance to backpedal or regret the request that she had just made.

"Of course, boss. You go ahead…I'm just going to grab another glass of water for me." He smiled at her before turning to go back into the kitchen.

A few minutes later Alex walked into Arizona's bedroom, a glass of water in each hand. Immediately to his right was a dresser, the side of which was almost flush with the doorframe. The bed was against the wall to his right, and Alex walked up to the right side of the bed where Arizona already lay curled up on her side.

"Here," he smiled weakly as he placed one of the glasses of water on her nightstand. Arizona smiled back at him, and he walked over to the other side of the bed. He stood there for a moment, debating if he should get under the covers or not.

"I'm going to go ahead and turn the light off, okay?" Arizona's voice momentarily roused Alex from his thoughts.

"Yep, I'm good to go," he replied as he crawled on top of the covers. She had simply asked him to stay until she fell asleep, so he figured that there was no point in getting comfortable. He repositioned the pillow so that he could lean against the headboard comfortably. Taking a deep breath and stretching out his legs, Alex thought about what had happened earlier that night. He realized now why Arizona had insisted he agree to spend the night before she would tell him anything. Alex was a protective man, and what Arizona told him had shocked him. Shocked him to the point where he felt that his only recourse was to avenge Arizona, though practically he had no idea how to go about that.

_Who the fuck even avenges people, anyway? This isn't a damn comic book, Karev._

Regardless of how silly it sounded, even to himself, Alex's kneejerk reaction would have been to fly out of Arizona's apartment to go on some ass-kicking rampage. This revelation only made him more determined to look after and protect his mentor. He was simultaneously infuriated and heartbroken at what Arizona had told him. He closed his eyes, trying to process all the new information that he had been given tonight. After a few minutes he thought he heard sniffling, and then noticed that the bed was very slightly moving. Opening his eyes he turned to see Arizona barely shaking.

She was crying.

She was crying, and he did the only thing he knew to do.

Alex pulled his legs up and quickly pulled the covers down on his side of the bed, so that he could slip beneath them. He scooted down the bed slightly, flinging the covers off of him.

"Hey, Robbins, come here." He spoke quietly and soothingly. Arizona stilled at his voice.

"It's okay. C'mon." As he spoke again, Arizona turned over in bed to see Alex on his back, motioning her with his arms to come closer. He could clearly see her tear streaked cheeks illuminated by the moonlight. Arizona's lower lip trembled; she was willing herself to not completely fall apart in front of him. She felt so fragile and breakable right now, like at any moment she would crumble into a million pieces.

"C'mon…I gotch ya."

Arizona burst into tears as she buried herself into Alex's side. He pulled her in tight, and she shifted so that her head was on his chest, gripping him tightly around his midsection with her left arm. She held onto him with all her might. It was as if she was afraid that he would float away, and if he did, she would be all alone and would fall to pieces.

With his right hand, Alex gently and methodically rubbed up and down Arizona's back, trying to soothe her. His left arm was wrapped around her shoulders, with his hand gently grabbing on to her right shoulder. Alex had no idea how this situation was going to get fixed. He didn't even know if this was the kind of thing that _could_ be fixed. He felt helpless, and totally out of his depth. He said the only thing that he could think of…the only thing that he knew he could do right then.

"Arizona, I've got you, okay? I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. You're safe now. I won't let anyone hurt you tonight."

* * *

**AN: Thoughts? Comments? Additions? Subtractions? I don't know that every chapter will be this long from now on, but I felt like all of this needed to happen in one chapter to be cohesive.**

**I feel like I've got a good handle on where this story will go/end (so the big stuff is figured out), but I'm not 100% sure of what I want to happen between now and then (funny or 'fluff' type stuff), so if anyone has any thoughts that you would like to share, feel free to PM me. I rarely bite ;)**

**And lastly, any editing/grammar errors are all mine. If anyone wants to volunteer to be a proofreader, let me know! :)**


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